I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
someone owes me an orgasm
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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