I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
