I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
