Plan B is the new Plan A
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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