the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
