I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize