Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
