She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
