Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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