You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
