I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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