Are we in a gay sports bar?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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