Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
