yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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