Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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