so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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