i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
