when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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