just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
