I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
