i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
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His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
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Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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