I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
