I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
