he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
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Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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