hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Its about making memories worth repressing
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
