I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
