Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
