make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
