somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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