i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
