I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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