My room smells like vodka and shame
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
