Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
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He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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