If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
as a side note pls kill me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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