In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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