how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
