That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
