i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
