I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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