my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
