Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize