Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
