Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
about cumming, not toast
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .