so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
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Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.