I wish I only lived at night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize