Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
