thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
