My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm lost and stupid without you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
