i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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