Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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