Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
