Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
