First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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