"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
