Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I need a burrito and a hug.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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