i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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