Well douche your snatch and let's go!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
