i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
