5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
