Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
third nipple confirmed
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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