Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
