Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
